The Choice To Live

"You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are."--Edgar A. Guest

So, I haven't posted anything big for two months. I can see how you guys would be a little ticked. It's just that around the time I posted the first Random Thought, I was going through a rough patch, and the post I was working was very angry. It would have been foolish of me to publish such a thing. So I sat, for two months, waiting for a good idea to come to me. This post is horrible, I'll be the first to admit it. I wrote it off the top of my head and so probably it won't sound very clear. Just stay tuned for something better. It took awhile to come up with an idea, but here I am.

Life is made of up choices. Choices make you who you are, they build your life and personality from the ground-up. The choices you make give you the friends you have now; the things you like and don't like; the way you think. When you look back on anything and everything you have done, chances are that 90% of the stuff you have done was the result of a choice.

As I sit here and think about it, life really is just a web of choices, strung together to create--us. Do we eat that entire pizza? Do we ditch one friend for another? Do we sulk alone, quiet lovers and hopeless romantics, or do we go out and try to do with our love? Do we join a new, bold club? Do we go out and meet new people? Do we love people for who they are, or do we try to change them?

The idea of writing about choices came from a rather unlikely (and some of you may argue lame) source. The video game Fable 2 by a company called Lionhead was released not long ago, and I got it for my birthday, but I didn't start to play it until just recently. That game is based on choices as well; you can transform the land you travel, the story, and the people you meet by your actions. Do use the gun, or the sword? Do you plunge a whole section of a city into crime and corruption, or do you save it from those very things? Are you good, or evil? A soldier of the light, or of the dark?

Naturally, I was the goody-two-shoes that choose all of the pure options, and helped out anyone I could. It's just who I am, and it was neat to see it shown in the game itself. My best friend also got the game, and he did everything the opposite of me, basically. When I went online and visited his world, it was totally different. While the world I had helped form was bright and hopeful, his was dark and hateful. While the game would be cool either way, I thought that it was cool way to show people the effect of choices, and that it's not as simple as saying 'yes' or 'no'.

My guess is that alot of people who own the game will choose to be evil because it's the cool thing to do. But is it so cool? Some people might say that they aren't really evil, it's just cool to see you do things that you would never do, and make choices that don't really fit you. But is that true? Are you sure that your choices in a game don't reflect a choice you might make in real life?

Now I'm not talking about video game violence affecting violence in the real world, because I feel that that argument is total BS. I'm talking about the choices that affect your life, in the game and outside of it. You may choose to kill innocent man in the game because it gets your closer to the treasure a little faster, but what if you were presented with a real choice.

What if someone who stole the love of your life from you was laying at your feet, and you had a gun in your hand. Do you shoot him? Do you let it go? What would you do? You may say that you were just evil in a game cause it was cool, but what of your actual thoughts and beliefs? What are your principles? Would controlling a group of people through brutality be so bad for you?

I know I couldn't do it in a game. I just have too many stingy principles that I hold to. I was trying as a renegade in Mass Effect, another game that lets you make choices as to whether you are good and evil, and I just couldn't do it. Do see my character be mean to other people was something I couldn't mentally bare. It's just not who I am. I'm not like that in real life, so I don't do it in a game.

Games like GTA IV are different, though. You don't really get much choice there. But if I could choose to be a 'good' killer, that would be what I would choose. But games like Fable and Mass Effect give you choices to make, and thus you make the ones that, I hope, reflect you.

Okay, let's stop being geeky for a minute. In real life, what choices do you make? Are you good, or evil? A person of the light, or of the dark? Are you going to be a two-faced B word or a motherly figure with plenty of love for all? Are you we going to disregard any respect for our fellow peers, or will we accept other people with arms wide open?

What group of people do you hang out with? Are they good, or evil? Do they tell you they love you and then talk trash behind your back, or do they tell you that they love and mean it?

Here's a big one: Do you go to college, or drop out of high school?

Starting to see what I mean about the web of choices? Choices are everywhere. They make us who we are, what we stand for. I choose to not write a big post for awhile because I wanted the right idea to come along so I didn't give you guys total garbage. I choose to sulk about noting having a girlfriend, because if I told someone about it, it wouldn't really fix anything. I'd just get a pat on the back and a "don't worry".

Another thought before I wrap up: do we ever think about the people that don't get a choice? Did the people in Darfur get to choose whether or not they should fight? What about the child whose parents were murdered? The woman was sexually assaulted? Did they get to choose? Were they pressed for a decision?

Shouldn't we make good choices, then? For them? Make the world a place where everyone gets a choice--the choice to live. Maybe it's not so cool and fun to stab people in the back and be evil. Maybe the right choices are clearer than you'd like to think. Maybe being a good guy, in a game but much more importantly in real life, is the cool thing to do.

So don't steal the pack of gun. Pay a dollar for it. Don't give your friends the cold shoulder just because you don't see eye to eye. Don't refuse to love someone because of the way they look. Choose to respect your teacher rather than question everything they do. Choose to be a champion of the people, rather than yourself. When you look back on your web of choice, will you like where all the strands of fate lead to? Make the right choices in life.

Make to the choice to live a good life.

What kind of choices do you make? Leave a comment to tell me what your thoughts are!

Random Thoughts, No. 2

Hey, sorry guys. I know that I've fallen off the radar for a month, but I've been going through some rough spots. Dealing with depression, that sort of thing. And I'm sorry that I don't have anything big to post, but I'm having trouble with an idea. I have one half done, but it's really angry and I'd rather not post it. So I've come back with some random thoughts, in the form of a song.



We've all heard the David Archuleta single "Crush" by now. Many people will usually scoff at this song, because, c'mon...the kid was on American Idol and WASN'T a cool rocker dude. But I actually listened to the lyrics when watching the music video one day, and found the experience haunting. It's as if the kid, or whoever wrote the song, took the horrible experience of having a crush on someone and put it into an insidiously catchy song. I enjoyed him singing about what everyone feels at one point in their lives, so I wanted to share it with you.



"I hung up the phone tonight,something happened for the first time, deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility that you would ever
Feel the same way about meIt’s just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized, and I just got to know


Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be,
Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in loveIs it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at youAre you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin away, goin away


Has it ever crossed your mind when we were hanging
Spending time girl, are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
Cause I believe we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever


Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be,
Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in loveIs it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin away, goin away


Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized

And I just got to know
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone
All that we could be, Where this thing could go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it realor just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I’m trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin away, goin away."



--David Achuleta

So hopefully you'll go listen to that song, because I think it's worth the time. I know most people aren't fans of girly pop, but this is a song that I'll be listening to for awhile. So I'll leave you guys with that for now. I'm working on another big post, I promise. The right idea is just not coming to me at the moment. Until next time, readers.

Random Thoughts No. 1

I figured I might try and do this to keep you guys occupied while waiting for the bigger posts. So that means no long rants or stories, just a random quote (or quotes) I pulled from nowhere that I thought you guys might like. I call it: Random Thoughts. I totally stressed out the creative half of my brain for that one...

Today's Random Thoughts come from a comedian named Mitch Hedberg. Enjoy, and be on the lookout for more posts in the future!

"I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it."

"Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool apotamus?"

--Mitch Hedburg

Hope you guys enjoyed the first set to an extent. I didn't want to send a message with these, I just wanted to have a little fun. Until next time, readers.

A Perfect Blue Sky

“The greatest treasures are those invisible to the eye but found by the heart.”--Anonymous

So it's been awhile since my last post. There's a simple answer to that: school. It's had everyone busy. Homework and projects have already started trickling their way into our free time, and clubs have us busy outside of the halls of our school. How's a Quiet Kid supposed to think with all this stress. Well the truth is I've been thinking just a little too much recently. My brain is starting to hurt, truthfully, I can't stand the constant stream of work and problems that are trucking in my direction.

But that's what life is about, right? Accepting challenges and whatnot? I even said in my last post that blizzards need to be marched through. So why then do I feel that these blizzards I have are too difficult? Why can't I follow my own advise?

The only answer to that I've been able to come up with is that it's all been me being lonely. As always. I always seem to be moaning about that, don't I? The fact is that my loneliness is usually the inspiration I have for these rants and words of wisdom. But getting back on topic, I think that the reason why I'm not listening to my own advise is because there's no one there giving the advise to me. The reason I stand at my vitural pulpit and tell these things to you guys is because there's no one there doing it for me, and I don't want to you guys to feel that emptiness. But I can't say that I'm not learning along with you guys. The messages I pass on to you are usually messages that I have learned about myself merely hours or minutes before. Or like in the case of the offical Thoughts From The Quiet Kid that will appear in the November issue of the Concrete Courier, I learn the message as I'm writing it. That, with the added warm feeling of the feedback you give me ensures that I do not walk away empty handed.

"Stop talking about boring, mushy stuff and get on with it." You say. Very well then.

The message I have today is one that I don't believe full heartedly in. It's a subject that many other people have trouble with as well. That subject is hope. What is hope? Dictionary.com says that hope is "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best". I view hope as a simple thing, something that puts a smile on our face and helps us march through our blizzards. (Talk about wearing something out)

I haven't felt alot of hope lately. I thought that this year would be different for me, but it doesn't seem to be a change for the better. I'm junior editor-in-chief for the Courier, but I sure as hell underestimated the work that job entails. I was also supposed to be lighting manager for the drama club, but here I find out that the school band director is taking it for himself without me or drama club ever being asked first. And as for school work...my first government project is turning out to be a real headache. I don't think that by now I should have to fill you in on my romantic status. Zip. Natta. Ziltch. Nothing at all. Bone dry, and every other phrase you could come up with to describe absolute loneliness.

So it hasn't been that good of year so far. Certainly not like how I planned it to be.

For some reason, I found myself thinking about all this stuff today. I had gone to my friend's house to work on the gov. project and that was okay, but when I got home I was notified that I needed to mow the lawn. During the process of mowing, I choose to skip weedwacking because, well, I wanted to just get it all done and out of the way. I never said I wasn't lazy. But my dad was working on his own things out in the front lawn, much to my dismay, and he noticed that I had not weedwacked and ordered me to do so.

As I went about 'wacking the weeds', I thought bitterly to myself: "If you don't like the way I do the lawn, do it yourself." I was just so bitter as all the stuff that was bothering me in my life hitting me like a frieght train. Problems have a way of bunching together and hitting you when you least expect it. Why don't I have a girlfriend yet? Why can't I just have the lighting booth that I worked so hard for? Why do I view newspaper as so much work when that work used to be fun for me?

I couldn't bare all the thoughts pounding on the insides of my brain. It was as I finished wacking a flowerbed of weeds, however, that something counter-acted against these mind-numbing thoughts. The flower bed in question was right next to a backyard gazebo that was shading me from the sun. I let go of the power for a second and looked up at the sky to wipe sweat from my brow. I was listening to my Ipod while working as well, and it was in this moment of looking up the sky that I had my revelation.

The song that was playing was "So She Dances" by Josh Groban. (Yeah, I listen to him, wanna fight about it? Ha.) The sky was a brilliant blue with fluffy white clouds and the light from the sun shone down upon the green earth.

"When I close my eyes I can see, the spotlight's are bright on you and me." Josh Groban sang into my headset as I looked at sky, with only two amazing clouds lazily gliding around the hidden sun's brightness.

"We've got the floor and you're in my arms, how could I ask for more?" I moved away from teh gazebo to keep a full view of the sun and the clouds around it.

"So she dances in and out of the crowd, like a glance. This romance is from afar, calling me. Silently." The sun flooded my eyes and I closed them. I held my hand up to it so I could get a better look at the sky. It was a brilliant baby blue, and other than the clouds around sun, it was clear of any obstructions. The sun lit up the whole world as well as my heart. When looking at something as simple as a blue sky, how could I be bitter anymore?

Who cares if Newspaper is hard work? Isn't everything else? Who cares if my dad is forcing me to weedwack? He just wants the lawn to look nice for my mother. Who cares if the band director wants the lighting booth to himself? I know I won't let him take it from me. Who cares if I don't have a girlfriend? Actually I do still care about that one, very much. But who's to say there isn't a beautiful girl out there looking at that very same blue sky?

If you're still reading this and haven't clicked out and away from my drooling over a 'perfect sky', than I will wrap this up for you. My message today is the lesson I learned by simply looking up at the sky. Life's biggest problems can be cancelled out by life's littlest things. Sure, a blue sky won't deliever a girlfriend or a lighting booth to me on a silver platter, but it will ease the pain for awhile.

And if you're saying that the quote from before isn't really working out here, it actually kinda does. Think about it: a perfect blue sky lessened some of my burdens, but that might not have worked for you. It all depends on who we are and the type of heart we have. Hugs, perfect looking skies, and picturesce landscapes do the trick for me. It's up to your heart to decide what works for you.

I don't know what kind of problems might have you down at the moment, but I just want to say good luck, and that I'm here for you. We all have pitfalls (blizzards :3) to get past, but if we stick together and help one another, we'll make it. Now get off the computer and go out and find your perfect skies! Until next time, friends.

What are the little things that make you feel better? Leave a comment here or on myspace telling me what your thoughts are!

The Blizzard of Uncertainty

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."--Franklin Delano Roosevelt

So the new school year begins on Tuesday, and we all seem to think that we are ready for it. Yet every person I've spoken to can still admit that there is even just a tiny bit of anxiety and uncertainty in their hearts. I know that I'm not ready for it at all. All the douche bags in the halls that push me into my locker, all the girls that lean away from me when I walk past them and that give me dirty looks, and all of that goddamn work on top of everything. That's just stuff I'm not ready to go back to, or dare I say willing.

But whether or not we are ready, time continues pushing forward to Tuesday, menacingly winding down the last moments of summer. You can leave a comment using the link below and share with me how your summer was, because I can say that I am more than interested. But for right now I will tell you how mine was, and why it sort of ties in with the message I am trying to express today.

My summer was not exactly an enjoyable one. While I had time to get away from school and all the work that comes with it, I had to get a job for a car. While traveling down the painful and long road that is 'yob' hunting, I finally had to settle with Burger freakin' King because they were the only employers that were looking for a worker with limited questions asked. While I was supposed to be working with my best friends, he moved on to a better business opportunity at Carmike Cinemas, leaving me alone with the less than enjoyable company of kitchen grunts.

While this was my first thought of them, I got to know some of the better ones and soon enough I was just another grunt myself. Not really the choice I would have made if I knew going in, but it worked at that point. At least I was finally getting paid real money.

And the warm breezes of summer didn't bring adding comfort in the romance department, either. I went from getting close to a girl I know from her being friends with my sister, to loving someone who doesn't love me back, and back to the same lonely ditch I've known most of my life.

"But what's the point of this, Quiet Kid?" You ask. I suppose that the point for my whining is that I want to share some wisdom about uncertainty with you folks. Throughout this entire summer I was blindly feeling my way around--first for a job, and then for love, a better relationship with my friends--and I had no idea what the next day held in store for me. I kept moving on, like marching through a dreadful blizzard without any sense of direction, not even having a guess as to where the next light would be.

But that's the point...I kept moving. Life will always throw everything it has at us to make us hurt to point where we feel numb, but we have to keep moving. We need to tell life to shove it and go bother the people that really deserve it.

The new school year will bring new challenges, new disappointments, and new achievements. But until that last day of school comes we'll be blinding feeling our way around, clawing for anything that is concrete...for sure.

Love is for sure. Friendship is for sure. They are the lights in the blizzard, they hand reaching out for you when you are drowning. Once you have found them, you'll notice that you won't be so blind, and you won't be so much clawing as you will be reaching. Find that one person that matters and never let go.

So all those douche bags in the halls and all those girls that scoff at me should know that they won't bother me this year. To me, they are just snowflakes in the blizzard, waves in the ocean. I know I want friendship. I know I want love. I'll find, simply because I persevere. And you'll find it too, if you haven't already.

Like the aforementioned quote says, the only thing holding us back is the doubts of today. And doubts won't get us down...they are just blizzards that need to be marched through.



You've read my thoughts, now let me hear yours! Click on 'Leave Comment' below and I'll make sure I read them and respond. After all, I maybe a Quiet Kid, but we all keep things quiet from other people. Now is your chance to speak up and get a helping hand.

Off of the paper and onto the screen

So, off of the school paper and onto the net. It's pretty exciting, despite the fact that not many people will be reading it. But here on this blog I will try an continue to express my ideas and opinions while still providing you with that small dose of philosophy. Not much to report about right now, being that it's my day off of work and my mind is pretty much shut down right now, but I'm sure I'll come up with something later.

Speaking of being on the Internet, I can now write my thoughts uncensored and in their entirety. Not that I'm like Dane Cook or anything, but I can think of several situations where I have wanted to curse in an article before. All also now I have more than four pages to express my thoughts. To all of you out there that actually read Thoughts From The Quiet Kid, and to any new people just starting, you now have the ability to read some things in between Concrete Courier issues.

So until I think of something that--in the words of Peter Griffin--'really grinds my gears', I suppose this is goodbye. Enjoy the last remaining weeks of summer.